Day two - keeping the ball rolling

So, Day two: did 30 minuets on the treadmill and push ups, squats and plank. I plan on doing pedal bike and some upper body yoga this evening. I have to be careful with yoga because my hip could be a lot worse if I don't watch it.

I figured out yesterday that I have about 217 days to reach my goal and I need to lose 3 to 4 pounds a week to do it. I am telling everyone about it in hopes that that will keep me on track. I am scared that I will do what I seem to always do and that is start strong and then get tired and give up. I am not going to do that this time!!! When Sam and I were discussing this who process on Sunday he said something that stood out to me. I was lamenting about how I have tried this before and why would this time be any different and he said that is that this time is different because I am coming in to it with a different set of experiences than I have previously. It struck me how true this is we are always growing and changing and there is nothing to lock us in to past behavior patterns. One of my favorite quotes is from Ann of Green Gables "Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it" I just have to remember that each and ever day and keep going.

Yesterday I ended up working out about one hour 45 minuets total not quite the two hours but I didn't get off work till 8 pm. Sam is worried I will burn out if I keep going at the pace I am going. I just don't know how else to do it.

Right now I am leaning towards spark people as an eating program I logged there yesterday and I went about 100 calories over my 1550 calorie goal. The only thing that I am worried about with spark people is I am not sure they adjust the calories you are given based on how much you exercise while weight watchers does. Over all I would count my first day as successful. Thank you to those of you who have commented here and at face book . So to tie this in to one of my other goals I am going to finish my posts with some things that make me happy / things I am grateful for.

1) Super supported Husbands

2) Co workers willing to go on a walks with me

3) Shaved Puppies

All my Love !

Jennette

October 3, 2011 Day 1 - Looking for Support

So today Sam and I got up at 5:30 am and worked out. I did 30 minuets on the elliptical and about 25 minuets strength training with a work out I got off of Spark people .com. I have plans to work out again tonight. I have a very Lofty goal I would like to lose 100 lbs by my birthday May 6, 2012 when I turn 33. I figure in order to do this I need to we working out 6 days a week 2 hours a day. I am still trying to decide on an eating plan. I am vacillating between weight watchers and basic calorie counting. I already have a membership to Weight watchers on line and I can count calories on spark people for free. So what do you think? Which Direction would you go?

When I did my couch to 5 K summer 2010 the support from those who read this either on blogger or through Face book really helped. I am hoping I can get that help again. I am also hoping that some of you would be willing to call me during the week and help keep me motivated.

So what do you think can you help me out? If you can let me know and I will send you my phone number.

Thank you so much in advance!!!!

All My Love,

Jennette

To Diet or not to Diet that is the question

This seems to be the eternal question for me. I am currently at my heaviest weight ever and I am plagued again by the question Should I try and lose weight. I am the queen of losing 20 lbs. It seems every time I focus on losing weight I lose 20 lbs and then I lose my motivation ( It may have been hiding in the 20 lbs I lost). My main excuse for not trying to lose weight right now is time. As in I don't have the time, I can't find the time, it takes to much time, energy, focus etc..... With working 40 hours a week, 20 hours of internship plus grad school classes this is an easy excuse to use.

My reasons to lose weight are plentiful. Here are just a few: 1) I will just keep getting fatter if I don't do something. 2) The likely hood of me ever getting pregnant reduces even more with every pound I gain. 3) I only getting older and it it will just keep getting harder to lose weight. 4) I'm pre-diabetic 5) My legs hurt all the time 6) My knees kill when I go up stairs or stand up 7) I look like shit or Jello if you want to talk specifically about my stomach 8) I feel like I am better than this, not better than other people who are over weight (I don't want to be misunderstood here), I know how to lose weight and I know I should and I know I can do it. I just don't seem to be able to get past the it will take to long/ I don't have the time etc.... crap.

It doesn't matter how busy I am there is always a healthier choice on what to put in my mouth even if I have to eat out three times a day due to my schedule. I have three half hours a week I can work out when I am at work plus I am off Saturday and Sunday. I can do this I just need to do it. Why does it seem like the knowledge portion of the event and the doing seem to be on opposite sides of the grand canyon and I am trying to build a bridge between them with tooth picks.

I understand that food is an addiction for me. I eat when I am board and when I want to avoid doing something else. The funny thing is that I am currently doing substance abuse addiction training at my Practicum/Internship. I can completely relate to the addicts when I apply what they say to food. I think I should do a relapse cycle on my food addiction. Sometimes I wish I could process it with them and get my core issues and thinking errors processed by the group. I wonder if the therapeutic community treatment model would work for weight loss. Ok so that is a little bit of a sided track but still.

I feel I need support but I am so ashamed of having failed so many times in the past I don't even like talking about it. I make promises and commitments to myself and I never keep them so I have learned that I can't even trust my self to do what I say. I have tried being accountable to an outside source such as Weight Watchers etc... but that only works for so long I lose the 20 lbs and then I stop. I have reached my 10% goal at Weight Watchers 5 different times. Right now If I was to go for this goal I would need to lose about 23 pounds and ultimately to get my self in to the mid range of acceptable weight for my height I need to lose 100 lbs. That is a lot to look at. Last night on the biggest loser Bob said something that struck me when talking to a man that has already lost 150 lbs and needs to lose 300 lbs more. he said " right now you can't focus on the future you have to focus on what you can/need to do today." I want to try and look at it like that, from a be in this moment perspective. I can't promise myself the future but each moment I can chose not to put the unhealthy option in to my body.

So this morning when I weighed myself (neked none the less, well I guess that is as less as you can get) I weighed 227 pounds my first goal is the 10 % goal which I would like to have done by my Birthday on May 6, 2011. So as nervous as it makes me to put this out there I am going to lose 23 pound by that date. Please give me your support and any tips you have I will try and keep you all posted on how I am doing.

All my love........ Here we go!